Just Let it Go!!

I want to use this simple statement to try and explain a few things about the monster, social media, and, shall we say, trite spiritual advice.

It works like this. We become harmed or traumatised in some way, whether that be unkind words or being part of an unpleasant event. We do not let it go because we have lost the ability to do so, and we have not been retaught as to how.

Somehow the emotion is not expressed and remains part of our physical/energetic selves. When we are in similar unpleasant situations or someone says something to us that reminds us of the initial trauma we become “triggered”.

See “Being triggered”

This may well cause an overreaction to whatever situation has triggered us. A classic example may be that we make a mistake whilst driving our car, some other driver sounds their horn at us and the resulting emotion is overwhelming. We have become triggered and all of a sudden we feel rage. It may be because we instantly feel judged (a deep trigger for many, myself included), or perhaps we feel scared beyond belief because it makes us doubt ourselves or perhaps even reminds us of a car accident we have been in before.

Either way, the resultant emotion far outweighs the event that led up to it. All because we haven’t let those initial traumas go.

I suspect many people wont even consider their overreaction to be an overreaction, hence they will likely carry on reacting in the same manner to all sorts of triggers. If you are reading my blog, I’d say that you’ve reached a point in your life's journey where you can spot something is amiss. You’d like to became calmer, more loving. To drop the suffering and move through challenges with a little more grace.

What often happens at this point of the journey is that people get a little lost in what I like to call “armchair spirituality”. I certainly did.

See “The spiritual picnic”

We have the tendency to latch on to books, spiritual practices and platitudes that help us to feel a little better.

And this is where the “Just let it go” line comes in.

Social media is littered with such one liners and other such spiritual “fluff”. Even some of the most well known and best selling spiritual books can leave us without the necessary tools and disciplines by which we can realise the beginnings of spiritual freedom.

I realise I have used the word “spiritual” three times in my last paragraph…

See “What is spirituality anyway?”

Now back to crux of this blog post. I would say that many of us have a genuine desire to let things go. Most of us have had situations in our lives which occasionally haunt us, and we may wish that we could just block it out, or never think about it again as the associated emotions are painful and we all have a desire to avoid pain.

But in my experience it doesn't work like that. The only thing I have ever known that enabled me to let go of painful situations is the revisiting of them and the subsequent expressing of the emotions that I felt at the time.

I’m not going to tell you that it’s easy. The concept of it is, but the putting it into practice takes commitment and discipline. It’s not exactly enjoyable to think of times where we’ve been humiliated or made to feel angry and the monster will do anything it can to distract us from doing so.

This practice has certainly helped me mend from a range of traumatic experiences I’ve had in my life. From break-ups to parental relationships, to hard times at school.

If you're feeling angry, frustrated, aggrieved, nervous, frightened… Say it out loud, feel it to its fullest, feel it in your body…. Get fully into it, express the crap out of it. Scream, cry, hit a pillow, curse until you are blue in the face. Do anything you can to feel those emotions!

Then, and only then, will you “Let it go”.